Kona Stories

My name is Al Diaz. I am Hispanic, born and raised in California. My parents were part of a hard working class in Mexico, who migrated to the United States and became hard working middle class in the U.S.

My parents showed my brother and I we needed the “hard work ethic” to have the money for the things we wanted. One of my parents was very materialistic. In order to satisfy that thirst for material goods, the only way was to work more, longer, and harder. There were times throughout our childhood that both my parents worked two jobs. I also must say our education was important and a high priority for them.

Without going through all the details of each experience, suffice it to say that I accepted most of the experiences of my first 30 years as fact and truth, though I didn’t know it at the time. Because of those facts and truths, this is how I functioned and lived for 40+ years. As a result, I wound up with an inflated ego, sought instant gratification, and had low self esteem.

Do you know what those three characteristics added up to? FEAR! But I didn’t know it at the time.

With an inflated ego and an instant gratification mindset, I was able to produce or bring things into my life that I wanted or needed (I thought) to get me through another day, another week, another month, or if I was really good, another year. What this gave me was a false sense of confidence – I was always looking over my shoulder to see what was coming up next. There were times I had it all, and yet the struggle would creep back in. That was because the foundation everything was built on was not strong, but soft from an inflated ego and instant gratification. Add to that the low self esteem I had learned and accepted from others which kept replaying internally and externally, and you can see how my life wasn’t always the way I wanted it to be.

So, I felt “this is how life is supposed to be”. Some of us were here to struggle, and others were lucky and had all the breaks. I was kind of in a weird place. I struggled, yet still had some lucky breaks. It was like someone was still watching over me regardless of what I did.

In the mid nineties I became a certified Massage Technician, which began to take the focus away from myself. I focused on others and their well-being. I eventually became an Emergency Medical Technician where I was seeing the pain and hurt others endured. That taught me to be grateful for what I have. At the turn of the century, I learned how to meditate and though I had found a greater degree of inner peace with meditation, I only did it sporadically. You see I was still functioning with a somewhat inflated ego, instant gratification, and low self esteem – just what seemed normal to me all those years.

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More information on Mr. Diaz's web site at:

http://www.ilumine-ao.com/